You ever feel like your relationship is too good to be true? Those feelings come from your insecurities. Insecurity is defined as lack of confidence or self doubt and it involves a person feeling inadequate or unsure about themselves. Believe it or not your own insecurities will eventually make you a lonely person because no one will ever be good enough for you. There are alot of misconceptions on insecurity and many think that insecurity is the equivalent to self-loathing, but in fact they are two totally different feelings, however, do have a lot of the same qualities.
Phil Stute, a celebrity psychiatrist in L.A. makes a very valid point in Chatelaine, “Most people think they’re insecure because of some specific flaw: too overweight, too poor, too shy. But what we now know is that after people achieve goals like losing weight or making more money, they just find something else to feel insecure about. Yes, that’s hard to believe when you see a glossy photo of a movie star or a billionaire. But I treat famous, beautiful, rich people and — trust me — they’re all insecure.”
Professor Mark D. White discussed in www.psychologytoday.com, that often in relationships the partner will use the other to either bring them down or lift them up. Many times, in relationships that exhibits insecurity and also exhibits signs of abuse, particularly the person who is unsure of themselves. By using your partner to lift you up in some ways can be beneficial. By bringing your partner down to your level is just another sign of abuse. Haven’t you heard of the saying, “misery loves company”? It needs to end and it needs to end now! Your partner should not have to suffer just because your noggin is playing funny business on you.
Combating insecurity can be a lengthy process but with motivation and determination it can be accomplished. Some will require therapy while others just need a reality check and a mirror, but everyone is different and everyone will definitely have a different outcome. Ultimately, the solution needs to come from within, no matter how much reassurance you give your partner or your partner gives you, if either of you can’t look deep down and get to the root of this issue its undoubtably useless.
Aside from lacking confidence, being unsure about yourself or where you are in life can also reflect in the person you desire to be. The person you present will also be insecure, lack confidence and walk with a fake stature. Becoming confident allows you to move on with life, leave the past in the past. That’s where the hurt belongs! Open yourself to new knowledge. Everything that happens, happens for a reason, but bringing it into the future where it presumably does not belong is setting yourself up for disaster. Every relationship is different, just like a fingerprint. We are each unique to our ownselves. The person who gets the most opportunities to connect romantically aren’t necessarily the best partners; they’re those who put themselves out there the most.